My Teammates are Idiots
by Ageha-chama
Summary: He always thinks that his teammates are idiots. Birthday fanfic for Zaizen. UPDATE 2011: Second chapter is up!
1. July 19th

**My first birthday fanfic! YAY! :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Prince of Tennis nor its characters.**

**I'm sorry if there's any grammatical mistake or typo.**

**Also sorry for lack of description, I'm suffering writer's block atm.**

**Enjoy! :)

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**My Teammates are Idiots**

July, 19th

Zaizen Hikaru, the only 2nd grade regular of Shitenhouji Chuu tennis team and soon to be captain, always thought that his team mates were idiots. They were_ indeed_ very kind and caring people, but they were also idiots.

However, he had never thought that they were _that_ idiots…

On a certain day, he headed to the clubhouse, just like usual, before the afternoon practice.

He opened the door. It was really dark inside. It was strange. Usually the room was quite bright even without the lamp because of the sunlight that went through the window. He looked to the window; it was somehow blocked by something. Being a bit anxious to find out what the thing covered the window was, he approached the window.

He was in the middle of his steps from the door to the window when the door suddenly shut and locked.

'What the?'

It was pitch black now. He could see nothing.

…

…

…

"SURPRISE!"

The light turned on. Now he could see everything clearly. The room was decorated with colorful balloons and ribbons. On the wall, there was a big banner with HAPPY BIRTHDAY HIKARU. A big cake and a dozen cans of Ponta on a table in the middle of the room. And the last but not least was he could see his teammates stood around him, cheering.

"Happy birthday!" They cheered in unison then started to sing happy birthday song.

Zaizen could only blinked seeing them, speechless.

"Look! Hikaru is too surprised to speak!" Kenya laughed, pointing at his junior.

"Hikaruchan is so cute!" Koharu squealed.

"Nn, ecstasy!" Shiraishi randomly exclaimed.

Chitose smirked."Tsk tsk, it's too early to be surprised."

Each of them took out box that was warped with bright paper and ribbon. "We still have… presents!"

"Here! Open mine first!" Kenya handed his blue and white box.

Zaizen looked at Kenya, then at the box, then at Kenya again."Thanks, but…"

"Dude, don't be so shy. Ok, I'll open it for you." The Speed Star opened his own box quickly. "Ta da!" He exclaimed as he took out a pair of rollerblade.

"Rollerblade?"

"Yep! Now you can even follow my speed play on tennis." Kenya said proudly as he gave the rollerblade to Zaizen.

Kintarou bounced in excitement, his sparkling eyes pinned at the rollerblade in Zaizen's hands. "Aah, that's so cool! I want that too, Kenya!"

"But Kenya, we're not allowed to use rollerblade on court." Shiraishi remind his friend. Kenya looked at him in shocked.

He really forgot about it! Stupid him.

"Next, next!" Koharu opened a pink paper bag with heart patterns. "Here, Hikaru-chan." He handed a white towel with red HIKARU LOVE words sewed on it.

Zaizen raised a brow as he saw the words. "Err, thanks?"

Koharu squealed. "Aw,I love you, Hikaru-chan."

"What? That's adultery! Die!" Yuuji protested, as usual.

"Hikaru-chan.."Koharu ignored his boyfriend, he even tried to hug the poor Zaizen, but luckily Zaizen dodged just in time, making him bumped onto the floor in result.

Everyone sweatdropped.

"Hikaru-chan, you meanie." He sobbed.

"Koharu! Are you okay?"

"Yuu-kun…"

"Koharu…"

"Yuu-kun…"

They became closer and closer and closer and…

"Senpai, _please_ stop."

The two looked at their junior, who had just complained.

"Okay okay. This's your day so I guess we'll do as you wish." Yuuji pushed Koharu gently away, making Koharu pout girly, so girly that made Zaizen feel sick. "Anyway Hikaru-chan, here's my present for you," He handed a harinsen warped with transparent plastic warping. "Use it wisely."

Zaizen knew that he would never ever use it.

The next was Gin's present. He handed a box to Zaizen. It was small but kind of heavy. Later the present was revealed to be a Buddha statue as Kenya forcefully opened the box. _Why Buddha? _Nobody knew the answer nor dare to ask Gin why.

"I also have something special for you." Now it was Chitose who handed a very heavy thing warped in green clothes. Zaizen took a peek. It was a pair of geta. From the weight, he was quite sure that they were the same with the ones Chitose usually wore.

"It's good for training, you know?" Chitose smiled as he patted Zaizen's shoulder.

"Thanks senpai, but I'd prefer to use power ankle." Zaizen replied plainly.

"My turn! My turn!" Kintarou shouted. The kid gave a package which was untidily warped in crimson. "Open it!"

The 2 grader was forced to unwrap it. He froze as he realized what Kintarou gave to him.

"Leopard… pajamas?"

"Yup. Actually my mom bought it for me a while ago. But you see, it was still too big for me. So I decided to give it to you. I'm sure it suits you well." Kintarou grinned widely, not realizing that his senpai mentally swore to himself that he would never ever wear those pajamas.

"Now it's Shiraishi's turn!" Kintarou turned to the said person. "Hurry up, Shiraishi!"

"It's not good to be overexcited, Kinchan." Shiraishi try to remind the youngest of them then he turned to Zaizen, who looked very different from Kintarou.

"First, this is from Osamu-chan," He handed a brown small box. "He said that he would treat us another nagashi soumen after practice… Oh, and this is from me." He handed another box, it was a little bigger that the previous one and it was clean white.

"Thanks, Buchou. But…"

"Don't open it now. It's some packs of bandage. I'm sure you'll need it soon. Well, at least, next year." Shiraishi added in whisper then he winked to his kouhai that was looking at him in disbelief.

The last person, Koishikawa, smiled as he handed his gray presents. "Happy birthday. Anyway, It seems that you wanna say something?"

"Wow, words from the birthday boy!" Kenya applauded, follow by the other.

Zaizen put the unopened last present on the desk. He looked at his teammates, they were all excitedly waiting for his _speech_. He sighed, then finally opened his mouth to speak. "Today's not my birthday. It's tomorrow."

'_Really, my teammates were idiots. All of them even misremembered my birthday!'

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**Yeah, ****his birthday is actually tomorrow: July 20th. Happy early birthday Zaizen! X)**

**So, how is it? Do you like it? Review please! Critiques are always loved!**


	2. July 20th

**Happy birthday Zaizen! Aw, this is my second birthday story for him. I can't believe I did it! XD**

**This chapter is actually a sequel for the previous chapter and tells about his real birthday. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Prince of Tennis.**

**Sorry for bad English.**

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**My Teammates Are Idiots: The Day After**

_**No, I'm not infected by their idiot-syndrome. I'm a genius, and you know that a genius isn't idiot.**_

July 20th

Zaizen Hikaru lazily opened his eyes. Peeking through his eyelids, he saw morning sun shone through the curtains and lightened up his bedroom. He rolled to the side, taking his hand phone from a table next to his bed. He flipped it opened and saw the clock. It was 6:20. Half-heartedly he rose from the bed. He took his school uniform from a wardrobe then proceed to the bathroom.

After ten minutes, he had finished dressing up and was preparing text books he used for today's lesson. Then something caught his attention: the piling presents he had gotten from his teammates yesterday. He looked at them, maybe there's something he could use today. Though those guys had misremembered his birthday, they had had good intention. They had prepared presents and even tried to throw a party for him (which had been screwed, thanked to their own idiocy). Anyway, it might be a good idea to use some of the presents. At least he should show them some appreciation, shouldn't he?

Let's see… First of all, a pair of rollerblade from Kenya. They were quite cool, he must admit, though it was impossible to wear it at school. Well then, thanks Kenya-senpai, he might try them sometime in the future.

The second present was… err… from Koharu. He swore he would never ever use that bloody towel. Right, he wouldn't use it even if the world ended. So, thanks Konjiki-senpai, may this towel rest in peace in the deepest, darkest part in his wardrobe.

Next was a harinsen from Yuuji. He was 100% sure he would be anything but comedian so it would get a special place in his wardrobe alongside with Koharu's towel. Thanks anyway.

Gin's mini Buddha statue was a good quality one. He appreciated his senior's effort to give him such an expensive thing and decided to put it in the living room since his father seemed to like that kind of thing.

About a pair of Chitose's-special-ultra-heavy geta was just… not his thing. He knew the senior intended to give him something useful for tennis training and he did appreciate that. Oh well, he might use it someday. Right. He _might_.

The leopard pajama, he knew he would never wear it. It would be deadly embarrassing! Heck, the whole family would surely laugh at him. Thanks and sorry, Kin-chan, your pajama would be a permanent resident in the wardrobe just like the idiotic couple's.

Osamu's present was a super size of instant soumen. Geez, had that old man actually intended to make him use his own present for his birthday (delayed) soumen party? Was it what people call by _kill two birds with one stone_?

The only present he found useful and _normal_ was the one given by Koishikawa: a new black earphone. Black wasn't his favorite color but he could still use it nevertheless. He took it out of its box then put it inside his pants' pocket. It was good to know that there was at least one sane person in the team.

The last one was a box of bandages. _Only God knew what he would do with them…_

After reviewing all of the presents, he looked at the clock. It was already seven o'clock. Gosh, he was gonna be late. He quickly went downstairs. He was about to enter the kitchen when his whole family suddenly sung happy birthday and congratulated him. He was stunned, even his little nephew had woken up early only to celebrate his birthday. He also noticed that his mother and sister-in-law had prepared a little extravagant breakfast.

Well, missing the morning practice once in a while wouldn't hurt, would it?

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The afternoon practice had ended earlier than usual. Shiraishi called Zaizen to clubhouse, questioning the younger boy why he had been absent during the morning practice. After giving a not-so-convincing excuse, Zaizen got a short lecture from the unpleased captain. Shiraishi forgave him without giving any penalty though, since he was the birthday boy. He didn't know whether he should be happy with that or not, since it had been his own birthday that had caused him ended up missing the morning practice.

Zaizen sighed as he watched Shiraishi left the room. What's the big deal? He had only missed the practice once but he had already had to listen to some boring lecture. Maybe because today was his birthday? If it hadn't been, he doubted anyone would have even noticed that he hadn't been there.

This birthday thing had somehow become quite annoying.

He scratched his head and made his already messy hair became even messier. 'Forget it.' He told himself. He walked to the exit door then opened it. There, he saw his teammates were preparing the nagashi soumen party. Osamu-chan was installing the bamboo gutter, helped by Chitose, Koishikawa and Gin while Shiraishi and Kenya were preparing the foods. Not far from them, Koharu and Yuuji were doing something Zaizen didn't wish to know (they were supposed to prepare the water though) while Kintarou was whining next to Shiraishi, asking the captain if the soumen was ready or not every 10 seconds.

Well, at least there were also good things about his birthday…

Or not.

Kintarou was overexcited, which was a bad thing and Shiraishi failed to calm him down. He jumped around impatiently AND accidentally hit Kenya. At that time, the speed star was running on his full speed, planning to get the dipping sauce he left in clubhouse as soon as possible, thus he lost his balance and bumped into the half finished bamboo installment. It crashed onto the ground. Trying to dodge the bamboo, Gin stepped back without noticing that Koharu and Yuuji were right behind him...

And with some loud wreck, crack and crash sounds, everything was ruined.

Zaizen stared at them in disbelief.

Great, his teammates were absolutely idiots.

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Around thirty minutes later, everyone was enjoying the long awaited nagashi soumen.

Wait! What?

"Delicious!" Kintarou cheered as he sipped a mouthful portion of soumen and sauce at the same time. "Those white clothes are amazing! They can unite the broken pieces of the bamboo pipe and fix it! What are they exactly?"

"You better not know that, Kin-chan." Kenya, who was standing next to the kid, replied.

"Eeh? Wh- ARGH! You took the one I've been aiming for! That's unfair Kenya! It's mine!"The redhead complained, already forgot about the white clothes thingy.

Swiftly, Kenya dodged every attack from the boy in attempt to get the soumen. "No speed, no life." He said proudly.

The other members only smiled and laughed seeing their friends' antics. On the other end of the long bamboo gutter, Shiraishi and Zaizen talked about the thing Kintarou had forgotten.

"To think that you would use the bandages I gave you…" The captain began.

"Sorry about that, Senpai. At first I only planned to keep them in the clubhouse," Zaizen replied. A moment later, he added in a serious yet sarcastic tone. "Well, who knows if someday some of the members become insane and start killing each other on the courts?"

Shiraishi chuckled hearing the second year's statement. "But still, using bandages to fix nagashi soumen's bamboo gutter. Who would think they can be _that _useful?"

Zaizen smirked.

"_Genius, isn't it?"_

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**Again, happy birthday, Zaizen. **

**Guys, please review and show him some love! |D**


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